esmenet: Kanae standing at a window (kanae)
So I think I wrote a lot less than last year, but more fic & ideas for/of fic actually happened? Which is to say, I am very unsatisfied with myself all around, but I actually made some stuff.

Leitmotif(s) of the year: Freedom, escape (as usual); relationships that may or may not be romance, no one is quite sure; poetry; meta-fiction; and "Well, what do we do now?"

Favorite(s) of the batch: history of the rose, because even though I don't think it's particularly well-written, it's a bunch of things I love all squished together.

Best of the batch: streets and skies and open doors is the only thing I wrote this year where I feel like I really got everything just (almost) the way I wanted it. Writing is a giant pain sometimes, because I keep wanting everything to be a great big spiral of perfect, but honestly if I can get the phrasing and imagery right then the rest doesn't matter that much.

Most underappreciated by the universe: ars poetica, first fic in which I publicly mentioned Tracey Davies and poetry in the same sentence. I feel like I got more of the imagery right here than in the actual poems I wrote for her, mostly because actual poetry is a fucking pain in the ass.

Favorite first lines: My actual favorite first line is Their lives are made of ink and paper, which was going to be in history of the rose until that turned into a completely different fic. My favorite posted line is Latin leaves me like an ex-boyfriend, from wizard-born.

Most fun to write: no such thing as silence was super fun, because it is one of those short crunchy character-sketch fics, self-introspection cheap at twice the price. And I learned that I really do love Taki quite a lot.

Sexiest fic: (not gonna write you a) love song, which I have barely even started on, because I'm still hashing out all the characters in my head. I'm not even sure it's going to have romance in it, let alone sex, but it is still the sexiest thing I have written all year, because it involves a lot of girls staring at each others' hands or hair or mouths. This untitled Chrome fic is probably a lot closer to the traditional definition of sexy, but it's actually asexy so it doesn't count.

"Holy crap, that's wrong even for you" fic: That Hermione-goes-to-Ohtori fic. It is self-indulgent crossover meta-tastic idfic at its finest, and at some point I will finish it and post the damn thing.

Fic that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: (not gonna write you a) love song, absolutely. The reason none of it is done is that I'm spending lots and lots of time thinking about Pansy and Parvati and Tracey and Ginny and Hermione, and I still haven't gotten their basic characteristics all worked out in my head yet. But it's going to be fantastic.

New pairing/genre/fandom you never predicted writing in January: I certainly didn't think I was even going to consider writing Mahou no Tenshi Creamy Mami fic! And yet it is happening.

Hardest fic to write: ALL THE ONES I HAVEN'T FINISHED YET. Everything I have finished was easy, otherwise I couldn't have done it. These current ones, now, these ones are hard.

Biggest disappointment: ME. More particularly, the fact that I haven't written those help_pakistan and help_japan fics yet. They're on the work table, I swear! It's just going slow.

Biggest surprise: The amount of fics I actually did manage to write this year, even if they're tiny.

Most telling fic: silence speaks louder than words, I think. The way Taki relates to the world is not the way I relate to the world, but the way she reacts to great pressure is the way I hope I would.

What's next? Finishing some of the things I've started. Starting some of the things I've talked about. DEFINITELY NO THOR FIC. I refuse!
esmenet: Toph in a mud bath, earthbending the mud on her face. Larger text reads "I feel pretty", smaller text "oh so pretty" (oh so pretty)
Now that I (technically) have time again, I am doing what I said I would and borrowing [livejournal.com profile] makeste's super-excellent meme!

1. My favorite character.
2. ANOTHER favorite character!!
3. My favorite character relationship, and by "relationship" I don't necessarily mean pairing and certainly not OTP, but on the other hand, depending on the fandom MAYBE I DO!
4. The moment/character/THING/WHATEVER that first hooked me on the fandom.
5. One of my favorite moments.
6. A song or track that reminds me of this fandom.
7. One miscellaneous awesome thing about the fandom.
8. One completely random thought I have regarding this fandom.
9. One fic/essay rec, fanart, or fanvid that depending on the fandom I either had lovingly bookmarked or saved onto my hard drive, or only just now found during a two-minute Google search.
esmenet: Close-up of Chrome turning her head (ace of hearts: prelude)
LET THEM EAT CAKE
a companion mix for Kyouko of[personal profile] lysapadin's A Year in the Life




01. Ohta Takako - Delicate ni Sukishite

そうよ女の子のハートは
星空に月の小船浮べ
夢を探すこともできる
デリケートに好きして デリケートに
好きして 好きして 好きして


[Girls' hearts
 float on the moon's boat in the starry sky
They can even search for their dreams
Girls like it delicate (they like it, they like it, they like it)]


Kyouko is a nice, sweet, normal girl.


02.
Regina Spektor - The Ghost of Corporate Future

'Cause people are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.
People are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.


She likes the social games everyone plays. If you know the rules, you know how people work,
they're not hard at all.


03. Mitsumune Shinkichi - Nemuro Kinenkan [Nemuro Memorial Hall]

(Instrumental)

And she's very, very good at them.


04. Miss Li - I Heard Of A Girl

I heard of a girl, she was alone every single day,
I heard of a girl, they wouldn't let her come along and play,
I heard of a girl, oh they were teasing her in every way,
I heard of a girl, she went to school everyday afraid


Kyouko used to worry about Tsunako quite a bit.
Now that Yuuko and Sakura are gone, and Gokudera and Yamamoto have started following her around
things are weirder, but Kyouko worries less.


05. Forever the Sickest Kids - She Likes (Bittersweet Love)

What's the point of being in love?
What's the point of being with someone you can't have?
I know exactly how this will end but for some reason I can't help myself.
No I just can't help myself.


She's kind of annoying sometimes, but Mochida thinks she's a pretty great girlfriend.
(He has entirely the wrong idea.)



06. Hayashi Yuuki - ASAP

(Instrumental)

This Mafia thing is going to be interesting.


07. Keith David - Friends on the Other Side

Sit down at my table
Put your minds at ease
If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please


She can see the future stretching out ahead of her now, and it's not the one she had planned.
Fortunately, she has been prepared for her future career.



08. Uematsu Nobou - Turks Theme

(Instrumental)

The words are different, the faces are different, but the game is exactly the same.


09. Queen - Killer Queen

Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice
She's a Killer Queen


She's going to do just fine.


download

 

esmenet: Close-up of Chrome turning her head (ace of hearts: prelude)
"The man with the iron

hat." That is not the word I expected to end that sentence.
esmenet: Azula and Mai and Ty Lee and Zuko, looking like they're at a festival (the Dangerous Ladies are all here)
I feel like those memes about writing always ask about titles, so here is a slightly better answer than I tend to give most of them.

I love titles! Usually. But mostly I try to title things before I write them, or at least before I get too far in, because I like titles that are really relevant to the story. And I tend to build off titles: I don't need a title to start out with, but if I just stick on a title at the end it feels sort of disconnected, even if I've spent a long time thinking about it. I tend to pull a lot of the theme from the title, and doing that in reverse is a little more difficult. A title is a foundation, a direction; I think in a much clearer and more constructed way about a story once I have a title to go off of.

I mean, Knife and Ink is a lot less fun-and-games-in-Ba-Sing-Se than it used to be, and a lot more about Mai and spirits and things that are written down, or not written down, or written down somewhere else. Blood Dreams (that mostly-genderswitched KHR AU that I have posted one fic of) has gone from just being an excuse to write a darker and mostly-female KHR to something that is about inheritance and the lack thereof, about the refusal of gender roles, and about discovering the time for an old dream to die. (I am also fighting a terrible urge to retitle it Girls' Generation.)

Not that I haven't come up with some terrible titles, mind, that never did anything at all. But I think I've gotten better about that lately, and I'm very much looking forward to what that Hermione-in-movie-Ohtori fic is going to look like once I've found it a proper title. (Let alone all the auction fic and challenge fic that are simmering on the stove of my brain.)


TL;DR: Titles are hard, but they're also fun and very useful. I need to go think up some more.
esmenet: Chrome with her head slightly bent, holding one straight arm with the other near the elbow (cool girl)
My contribution to Magical Girl Month yesterday and today: getting 800 words into a Chrome fic and then getting stuck. The problem seems to be partly lack of a clear focus—it's really just a look at Chrome and her relationship with 'love', but I feel like I should be concentrating on other characters too— and partly the fact that I'm not quite sure what it wants to be. Is it going to be totally canon-compliant? Is it going to assume things about the future? Is it going to veer off in a completely AU direction? Is it going to stay focused on Chrome and Mukuro and Tsuna, or are we going to look at her love for a bunch of other character instead/too? Am I projecting my own issues too much and making her out of character?


I don't knooooooow. *tears at bits of recycling, since hair getting pulled out too much these days as it is*
esmenet: Utena and Akio duelling (akio vs. utena)
So, earlier today [personal profile] littlebutfierce reminded me that May is MAGICAL GIRL MONTH. And since I missed it last year, I have some making up to do! Happily, I posted some squee about Lenalee in what was in some timezones May 1st, so let's see if I can keep it up.

And since we're using a broad definition of 'magical girl' here, I'm going to talk about Chrome Dokuro.

I never thought I'd turn into the kind of person who kept up with a fandom for one or two characters and ignored the rest. And I haven't! But even though I do love a lot of other things about KHR and its fandom (see: this) Chrome and Mukuro are the ones I think and write and fic about to near-exclusion. They combine a lot of things I like—reincarnation! illusion! the blurring of lies and truth! unshakable partnerships of the not-necessarily romantic variety! Gender issues! Mental health issues! Buddhism!—and stay away from a lot of the things I don't.

And I like what Reborn said about them. "Because of Chrome, Mukuro can exist. Because of Mukuro, Chrome can live." (or something like that) In my head, they're separate characters, but not entirely separate people; that's why I'm talking about both of them and not just her. Mukuro will have to break out of prison sometime, but I kind of don't want him to. I like the way that Chrome is his lifeline to the world, I like the idea that they've blurred together a little, or maybe more than a little. I like the idea that Mukuro used to be a girl like Chrome, once upon a time, and he enjoys being that again and also offering the help he didn't have when he was. I like the idea that Chrome's strength is in silence and passivity right up until she needs it to be otherwise, and I like the idea that Mukuro is a little bit the same way.

I love Bianchi and Kyoko and Haru and Hana and Adelheid and Shitt P. and Lal Mirch and Uni, but Chrome will always be my favorite of the KHR ladies. She's the kind of quiet character I don't get to write very often, the one who's polite and loyal and a little bit lonely and goes unfazed by things that would knock less-experienced people flat.

Also, I wrote Chrome fic! It's kind of unpolished, but is about Chrome thinking about how D. Spade is a LYING LIAR WHO LIES and how hard that's going to hurt him. CHROME ILU LOTS OKAY ♥ ♥ ♥
esmenet: four aces (so fucking ace)
Chrome loves kissing people. Quicker and lighter than a hug, a kiss is her thank-you, her goodbye, her I-love-you. Hugs are too close, hugs are traps, hugs are painful and dangerous even if nobody is carrying weapons. But a kiss is fast and intimate and safe, you can kiss someone and step back away faster than they can stop you.

She wants to kiss people on the lips, feel their words stop and their breathing change, but she doesn't want anyone to take it the wrong way. Chrome is not interested in the things people usually pair with kissing; they are messy and time-consuming and awkward. She wants the other things, the smiling faces and warm eyes that say someone is happy when they see her, the friendly affection that is close but not too close.

She gets them.
esmenet: silhouette of Kaitou Kid (1412)
I love things like Detective Conan/Magic Kaito and DNAngel(god knows why) and Yu-Gi-Oh! and Katekyou Hitman Reborn, I really do. Because I love phantom thieves and detectives and weird magic-y shit and reincarnation and whacked-out fights and art and the mafia! They're super fun to write about, you can do all sorts of stuff with them.

But all the phantom thieves and detectives and mafia bosses are boys.

And that should be fine! It's bad that there aren't more women in those positions, of course, and that bothers me just as it should. But I love all those things listed above, and want to write them, and the fact that those characters are male stops me from writing about them.

I have very complicated feelings about this. Because of course that shouldn't stop me, and if it bothers me that much I should just genderswitch one or two and be on my merry way. But I don't do that, because . . . why don't I do that? I don't know why. It would help, even if it wouldn't fix the underlying problems in canon. But that feels like it would be too complex, too top-heavy (hah) for the little ridiculous crossovers and for-want-of-a-nail I want to write, and I know all too well how changing too many things right off the bat can unbalance a fic liek whoa.

I don't think my problem with the canons mentioned above (and others) is that the main characters are male. My problem is that the main characters, their best friends, their rivals, their colleagues, their villains (well, okay, their shounen villains; I'm not sure about Vermouth, as I haven't gotten to her yet) are all male. DCMK almost makes up for this with Ran and Ai and Sato-keiji, but it's not enough: if Heiji or Hakuba or -- ooh, yes -- Kid were female, I would be writing so much fic right now and re-reading bits of canon every week. If Satoshi and Krad and/or Dark were female, I would still be in love with DNAngel no matter how stupid it was. If Kaiba Seto were a girl, I would write thousands and thousands of words just about her being awesome in a trenchcoat. KHR . . . well, my feelings are complicated about KHR.


Well, off to read some josei, and maybe see if Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne gets any better.
esmenet: Little!Anthy with swords (Default)
I wrote fic again! :D

Title: Passion for Greatness
Characters/Pairings: Tsuna, Xanxus
Word count: 800
Contains: Genderswap
Summary: She can't win, but she's not going to lose. First in a series . . . maybe.

Read more... )


Writing Xanxus is haaaaard. *sigh* And there was a lot more Mukuro in here when I started. And it was longer. But fem!Tsuna is lots of fun, so that's okay.
esmenet: Little!Anthy with swords (Default)
Here's that three-fandom questions meme that's going around! rikka gave me Princess Tutu, KHR, and Utena. :D


Answers . . . )
esmenet: Little!Anthy with swords (Default)
I was just re-reading the Mukuro arc, and . . . damn. I didn't notice it before, but Tsuna-tachi are actually really strong. It somehow doesn't feel like the typical shounen thing of new-powers-as-the-plot-demands, I think partly because it doesn't do the thing where Ichigo gets near-killed by Byakuya, trains for like a week, and then beats him -- we get sixty chapters of training disguised as light-hearted comedy, and then our main cast (some of whom were already really strong before canon started, like Hibari and Gokudera) goes up against a dangerous criminal escaped from the highest-security prison in the world. Who proceeds to make comments like "This is a first. No human has ever been able to sense, with one look, when I am possessing another," and "What a frightening man, Hibari Kyouya . . ."

IDK, it just never occurred to me before that Tsuna & co. go into their first serious fight already trained and strong, rather than kind of useless like most shounen heroes. I think I like KHR a lot more now.

Also, belated Yuletide reveal! I wrote Content for the Chrestomanci fandom. I'm kind of sad I only managed to write one thing, but considering my usual glacial pace it's not too bad. I'll probably try to write more next year.

The giftfic I got was super awesome, too! \o/ Explosions is a lovely fic about Conrad's time at Chrestomanci Castle, with lots of cameos by all the castle staff. READ IT. :D


BTW, writing for KHR is hard. I'm used to fandoms with lots of convenient, well-trod AU-diverging points and fic challenges (*cough* Severitus *cough*), and Reborn! really just doesn't have those, or at least not so many as I'm used to. Then again, this is probably just my usual inability to think of actual plot. Seriously, I start off with an idea like 'female!Tsuna/female!Gokudera yes do want' without actually thinking of anything more first and I end up just kind of rewriting canon with more boobies and UST. X.x Oh well, I'll think of something good eventually . . .
esmenet: Little!Anthy with swords (Default)
Okay, I've been reading Katekyou Hitman Reborn. What's exceptional about that, you ask? I read things all the time without squeeing over them to my f-list.

Just this:

It is FUCKING FANTASTIC.


No, seriously. It is. How many characters do you know whose catchphrase is "I'll just bite you to death,"? How many are spectacularly clumsy without members of their mafia family near them, but when said men are present are a total badass? How many are as purely awesome as Squalo? Also Squalo has fantastic hair. *fangirls*

And AHAHAHAHA at chapters 224-228. Xanxus is all "Go ahead, attack me, whatever. I'll just kick your ass without even moving. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to practice my slouching." And then Byakuran tells Tsuna-tachi "I totally knew what you were doing all along. Behold! My back-up plan! *smile* " And then he leaves and his opposition goes "I also have a back-up plan for just such an occasion!" (See what I did there? No spoilers!)

If the fights didn't last so freaking long this would be competing with Bakuman and xxxHOLiC for my favourite ongoing manga. ♥

AWESOME I TELL YOU. AWESOME.

ETA: BIANCHI! I can't believe I forgot Bianchi. She is the only female character in a comic I've ever thought was actually hot. And she can cook. BIANCHI ILU. ♥ ♥

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esmenet: Little!Anthy with swords (Default)
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