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Jun. 30th, 2010 07:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
esmenet
I wrote fic again! :D
Title: Passion for Greatness
Characters/Pairings: Tsuna, Xanxus
Word count: 800
Contains: Genderswap
Summary: She can't win, but she's not going to lose. First in a series . . . maybe.
Xanxus’ dreams are blood and Flame and anger; she will burn the world down for some imagined slight, and raise it again to search for some possibility of happiness. There is none, or there is enough to make her angry all over again, because it’s not hers and it never will be. Enemies real and imagined chase her through the night, mocking laughter bubbling over her lips because it doesn’t matter if they catch her, they’re just trash, trash and worthless scum and she’s going to be the next boss--
--except she’s not and she never will be, that fucking old man lied to her, made her think she had something real , something all hers, proof that she’s better no matter what they called her, except that was never real and she can’t get it back . But fuck it, she’s going to keep going anyway, and someday she’s going to win for real. She can’t, but she’s going to , no matter how many cities she needs to burn or wars she needs to start or underlings (not friends, they’re not my goddamn friends ) she needs to kill. She will fight and fight and fight , and it’s not over until she wins.
Wins what . . . well, she’ll know it when she fucking sees it.
-
Tsuna’s dreams are quieter, variations on past themes. She dreams of Gokudera and Yamamoto and Chrome and Kyoko and Ryohei and Bianchi and Hibari and Dino and Haru and Lambo and I-pin and Fuuta and Longchamp and all the rest of them, her friends and acquaintances, sometimes good and sometimes bad. She plays baseball and studies and moans about Reborn’s schemes and watches fireworks and sometimes there are dinosaurs.
Then there are dreams of the others, her not-quite-enemies. Mukuro features in them often, and sometimes he is even really there. Those times are worse, because he asks her taunting questions and laughs and makes himself look like he did when she had just beaten him, all torn up and bleeding. Once in a while he takes over entirely and graces her with a full illusion; hair sticking to her forehead, both their clothes half-ripped off, his blood slick on her bare and burning hands, more vivid than any real dream.
Byakuran is there too, sometimes. He and Mukuro really are too much alike. But Byakuran is easier, a little, because she knows for sure Byakuran-of-the-future is over and done with, and all she has to deal with is Byakuran-of-the-now, who is only a little older than her and knows what will happen to him if he goes down the road he once did. So that’s okay.
Xanxus is the hardest.
(And that really says it all, except it doesn’t.)
Xanxus is always so angry it hurts just to look at her, and when she’s not angry she keeps on breaking things anyway, calling people “trash” and laughing harshly at the world. When she found out the Ninth had lied to her she killed as many of his people as she could before he stopped her, and even eight years frozen in ice wasn’t enough to cool her down.
Tsuna dreams of Xanxus more often than she’d like. In her waking hours, she sometimes wonders if her subconscious is reminding her of what she already knows: I can’t afford to end up like her . Tsuna can’t lose her temper and get ‘dealt with’, or -- well, the Varia seem to have managed all right, but her guardians aren’t very much like the Varia. And after Xanxus, the Ninth must have grown more cautious of his heirs. It would only take once. . . .
She’s lucky to have had Reborn as her tutor and Mukuro as her first real enemy. Reborn knows when to keep things quiet, and Mukuro was a wanted criminal; the Vendice weren’t likely to look too closely at his injuries, or to listen if he said things to discredit her.
(Not that he would have. Mukuro is entirely too fond of doing things himself.)
Tsuna has blood on her hands again and ice under them and she looks into Xanxus’ angry eyes and feels herself smile.
-
Tonight, Xanxus dreams of being Decimo. She laughs at Squalo’s bad jokes and rolls her eyes when Lussuria dyes his hair rainbow and she even puts up with Levi’s cooking once in a while. She shows her baby cousin how to make sure no one goes after you more than once. She calls Sawada up at three in the morning to make sure she’s hard at work squeezing concessions out of the yakuza and swears at her for not knowing enough Italian. The rings accepted her, the Ninth supports her, and the Family members who don’t like her have the brains to shut the hell up about it. Who gives a fuck if she’s adopted? She’s the boss.
Writing Xanxus is haaaaard. *sigh* And there was a lot more Mukuro in here when I started. And it was longer. But fem!Tsuna is lots of fun, so that's okay.
Title: Passion for Greatness
Characters/Pairings: Tsuna, Xanxus
Word count: 800
Contains: Genderswap
Summary: She can't win, but she's not going to lose. First in a series . . . maybe.
Xanxus’ dreams are blood and Flame and anger; she will burn the world down for some imagined slight, and raise it again to search for some possibility of happiness. There is none, or there is enough to make her angry all over again, because it’s not hers and it never will be. Enemies real and imagined chase her through the night, mocking laughter bubbling over her lips because it doesn’t matter if they catch her, they’re just trash, trash and worthless scum and she’s going to be the next boss--
--except she’s not and she never will be, that fucking old man lied to her, made her think she had something real , something all hers, proof that she’s better no matter what they called her, except that was never real and she can’t get it back . But fuck it, she’s going to keep going anyway, and someday she’s going to win for real. She can’t, but she’s going to , no matter how many cities she needs to burn or wars she needs to start or underlings (not friends, they’re not my goddamn friends ) she needs to kill. She will fight and fight and fight , and it’s not over until she wins.
Wins what . . . well, she’ll know it when she fucking sees it.
-
Tsuna’s dreams are quieter, variations on past themes. She dreams of Gokudera and Yamamoto and Chrome and Kyoko and Ryohei and Bianchi and Hibari and Dino and Haru and Lambo and I-pin and Fuuta and Longchamp and all the rest of them, her friends and acquaintances, sometimes good and sometimes bad. She plays baseball and studies and moans about Reborn’s schemes and watches fireworks and sometimes there are dinosaurs.
Then there are dreams of the others, her not-quite-enemies. Mukuro features in them often, and sometimes he is even really there. Those times are worse, because he asks her taunting questions and laughs and makes himself look like he did when she had just beaten him, all torn up and bleeding. Once in a while he takes over entirely and graces her with a full illusion; hair sticking to her forehead, both their clothes half-ripped off, his blood slick on her bare and burning hands, more vivid than any real dream.
Byakuran is there too, sometimes. He and Mukuro really are too much alike. But Byakuran is easier, a little, because she knows for sure Byakuran-of-the-future is over and done with, and all she has to deal with is Byakuran-of-the-now, who is only a little older than her and knows what will happen to him if he goes down the road he once did. So that’s okay.
Xanxus is the hardest.
(And that really says it all, except it doesn’t.)
Xanxus is always so angry it hurts just to look at her, and when she’s not angry she keeps on breaking things anyway, calling people “trash” and laughing harshly at the world. When she found out the Ninth had lied to her she killed as many of his people as she could before he stopped her, and even eight years frozen in ice wasn’t enough to cool her down.
Tsuna dreams of Xanxus more often than she’d like. In her waking hours, she sometimes wonders if her subconscious is reminding her of what she already knows: I can’t afford to end up like her . Tsuna can’t lose her temper and get ‘dealt with’, or -- well, the Varia seem to have managed all right, but her guardians aren’t very much like the Varia. And after Xanxus, the Ninth must have grown more cautious of his heirs. It would only take once. . . .
She’s lucky to have had Reborn as her tutor and Mukuro as her first real enemy. Reborn knows when to keep things quiet, and Mukuro was a wanted criminal; the Vendice weren’t likely to look too closely at his injuries, or to listen if he said things to discredit her.
(Not that he would have. Mukuro is entirely too fond of doing things himself.)
Tsuna has blood on her hands again and ice under them and she looks into Xanxus’ angry eyes and feels herself smile.
-
Tonight, Xanxus dreams of being Decimo. She laughs at Squalo’s bad jokes and rolls her eyes when Lussuria dyes his hair rainbow and she even puts up with Levi’s cooking once in a while. She shows her baby cousin how to make sure no one goes after you more than once. She calls Sawada up at three in the morning to make sure she’s hard at work squeezing concessions out of the yakuza and swears at her for not knowing enough Italian. The rings accepted her, the Ninth supports her, and the Family members who don’t like her have the brains to shut the hell up about it. Who gives a fuck if she’s adopted? She’s the boss.
Writing Xanxus is haaaaard. *sigh* And there was a lot more Mukuro in here when I started. And it was longer. But fem!Tsuna is lots of fun, so that's okay.
