this psychology is more sideways than reverse, I think

[esmenet]

I hate it when people tell me to calm down, because I always have the immediate reaction of FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT.

Although that does kind of help, I suppose.

Comments

[troisroyaumes]

Oh my gosh, me too! It is usually the most useless thing to say to someone who is upset because it implies that they have no valid reason to be upset. Invalidating someone's feelings doesn't exactly make them want to calm down!

[esmenet]

Hah, yup. Even if they're right and I do need to go calm down, here is the way it tends to go:

Someone else: Hey, hey, calm down, talk to me—

Me: NO FUCK YOU I CAN CRY MY EYES OUT FOR NO REASON AND HIDE IN MY ROOM ALL DAY REFUSING TO GO NEAR MY HOMEWORK IF I WANT TO SO THERE.

[aldanise]

Especially since they frequently say it when one only seems upset, which in my case moves me into the realm of actually upset. (Also, gendered. And fucking annoying.)

[esmenet]

Ugh, yes, yes, and yes. Fortunately ("fortunately") it's usually just my mother telling me to calm down, stop crying, figure out what's wrong, and every time I am like YOU KNOW, YOU TELLING ME TO STOP CRYING DOES NOT HELP MAKE ME NOT UPSET ABOUT BEING UNABLE TO STOP CRYING.

Sigh.

[aldanise]

And also, YOU ARE MY MOTHER YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS BY NOW. I'm sorry about the crying, though. :(

[esmenet]

It's been happening about once a week lately, I think I'm used to it by now. ;) Might want to look into some meds or something, though, idk.

[dancing_serpent]

Oh, I hate that like burning! Feels to me as if they aren't taking me seriously or something - and they should know better. I'm not someone who is furious or sad just for fun. Argh!

[littlebutfierce]

I hate that too! Especially b/c often it doesn't seem to even come from a place of "I want you to calm down so I can help you" (which is obvs problematic in itself) but "I want you to stop making a scene b/c you're embarrassing me."

[esmenet]

Blegh. Yeah, those are bad, b/c then not only do I not want to calm down, I really, really want to smack those people.


Luckily ("luckily") I usually only get it from my mother, so it tends to go this way:

me: *sob sob sob*

mother: tell me what's wrong! and if you don't tell me, then I will CORNER YOU until you do.

me: *sob sob sob* *escapes*

mother: *corners* tell me what's wrong!

me: IF I KNEW THEN I WOULD FIX IT (as I have told you the last five times this has happened!) . GO AWAY UNTIL I HAVE CRIED MYSELF OUT. *escapes better*