recs of stories featuring the latter plot welcome

Hello, everyone! I am not sure you know this (though if I have known you for any length of time it is likely), but

• strong yet nice lady meets morally ambiguous dude


• lady befriends dude, with understandable reservations


• dude develops interest in her


• dude begins controlling her life

is a very problematic narrative! And this is sad for me, because I love stories about strong yet nice ladies and their relationships with morally ambiguous people (dudeness not necessary). Apparently there are many people who do not understand that the proper formation of a nice lady/morally ambiguous person is

• strong yet nice lady meets morally ambiguous person


• lady befriends person, with understandable reservations


• person goes 'wow, this lady is pretty cool'


• fun things!


• *understandable relationship problems caused by difference in personal worldview*


• *honest conversation about relationship boundaries*


• a relationship enjoyable to both parties, as well as all their friends, who think they are HILARIOUS together.

Only having read several stories in this latter format do I realize exactly what was bothering me about the former.

(Feel free to spread this post to anyone you think would benefit by reading it, e.g. the creators of Black Bird.)